


Be Still My Love

by TheLawyersKeeper



Series: When it Gets Quiet [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Steve Rogers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Protective Bucky Barnes, Retirement, Steve Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-21
Updated: 2018-08-21
Packaged: 2019-06-30 13:25:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15752592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLawyersKeeper/pseuds/TheLawyersKeeper
Summary: Steve's lost his soulmate three times, and three times he's had to push through. What happens when he finally gets to stop?*Now edited*





	Be Still My Love

**Author's Note:**

> Debating making this into a series, what do you guys think?

“Steve!”

_“Steve?”_

It was so empty, everything hurt. Steve had heard Thor’s mighty laugh, knew that the Mad Titan had fallen. He knew that the creature was dead, that they were actually quite beyond dead. But he didn’t care, he couldn’t stop. If he stopped, he’d have to look around, have to accept the fact that his soulmate was gone, his Bucky, his life love was gone, and he would never see him again. Never get to hold him again, never get to kiss him, just sit next to him and he would be all alone-

Natasha stopped yelling at him and he noticed everything around him had gone silent. Sam had stopped trying to pull him from the lifeless corpse he beat mercilessly, and he became aware of a presence on this left.

“Okay Stevie, that’s enough” the voice was soft, so soft and the warm touch that accompanied it was so real, he knew it anywhere. He clenched his hands into fists and screwed his eyes shut, tears streaming down his face.

“Oh God… please, please-“ a cool pressure enclosed one hand while the warm touch slid up to his face, gently turning his head to the left.

“Shh, come on baby doll, open your eyes for me” Steve shook his head and dug the heels of his palms into his eyes. He knew he was causing a scene, and he knew there were many sets of eyes watching as  _the Captain America_ fell to pieces on the jungle floor.

“No” the voice was patient, so _so_ patient as it softly asked again.

“why not sweetie? Why can’t you open your eyes for me?” he let out a harsh sob and yanked on his hair.

“Because it’s not you, you’re not here, you’re not here and I’m alone and I couldn’t save you and I can’t  _live_ with it anymore and I can feel you and I can hear you and if I open my eyes you’re not going to be here and I  _can’t_ ” Steve faintly heard Shuri’s shaky voice murmuring in the background, but couldn’t make out what the princess was saying.

“I know you’re scared sugar, and you got every right to be. You’ve been so brave Stevie-“ Steve sobbed again and the cool pressure joined the warm presence framing his face. “I need you to be brave one more time for me okay?”

“I can’t”

“Yeah you can, c’mon Stevie please. Just one more time okay? One more time for me” Steve let out a pained cry. The presence was wiping his tears away and a soft touch pressed to his forehead. “You just hold onto me and open your eyes okay?” Steve grabbed the presence and let out a wail at the feeling of cool metal on one side, and warm skin on the other “we’re gunna count to three, okay? Then you’re gunna open those baby blues for me alright? One…”

“Please, please, please, please-“

“Two…”

“Oh god, please God, anyone-“

“Three. Open your eyes Steven” Steve’s eyes snapped open as he desperately clung to the wrists on either side of his face.

“Oh my God…” Bucky smiled, his own eyes full of tears as he looked at him patiently, straddling the annihilated body of the alien. “B-Bucky?” Bucky stroked his hair tenderly and smiled.

“Hey baby-doll, I’m here, I’m here” Steve grabbed at his face, desperation sinking into his movements as he tore at Bucky’s jacket, pressing his palm flat against his chest, feeling the steady heartbeat along with the all too familiar tingle of his other half being so close. The loneliness in his mind slipped away and he began shaking. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Sam, T’Challa and countless others who hadn’t been there moments before. Peter was buried in Tony’s arms as Tony fussed like a true father.

“Y-you’re here, you’re here” Steve stared at him and Bucky pressed his lips to his forehead.

“So brave Stevie, I’m so proud of you. So strong for me baby-doll, you’ve never let me down” Steve wailed and grabbed his chest.

“Don’t make me do it again. I can’t, please don’t” Bucky pulled Steve’s head down to the crook of his neck and rocked them back and forth.

“No more Stevie, we’re done, no more” Steve clung to him as he sobbed and he vaguely heard Natasha’s voice.

“Why don’t we head back to the palace? Let us all get cleaned up and see what’s going on?” Steve flinched. He didn’t want to go work, he didn’t want to save the world. He just wanted his soulmate. Bucky caught on quick and shushed him gently.

“You guys go on ahead, Steve and I are going back to our place”

“Barnes, you really need to get checked out, and we need to-“

“достаточно” Steve leaned his head to press his ear against Bucky’s heart. “You guys could handle the world before him, you can handle it for a few days now. Now go” slowly the group began to leave, until finally it was just the two of them in the clearing. Bucky shifted and Steve felt himself being lifted into the air.

“Let’s go home sweetheart” …

* * *

 

Steve clung to Bucky as he shuffled them to the bathroom. It had been a long walk carrying Steve, and Bucky was exhausted from whatever weirdass wormhole thing he’d just gone through. But seeing Steve going off on that alien, with no one able to stop him had set a wave of horror in Bucky and he wasn’t going to let go of him any time soon either. He slid his metal arm around Steve’s waist and used the other to gage the temperature of the shower.

“Whattya think? Warm enough?” Steve didn’t budge from where his arms were locked around Bucky’s chest. He slowly pried a hand off and got it under the shower. “That okay doll?” Steve nodded and Bucky sighed. He hated showering with the arm on, but that would mean it would be harder to hold Steve.

“Okay baby, c’mon let’s get these clothes off yeah?” he stepped away and Steve let out a terrified whimper.

“Don’t go…” Bucky grabbed his face and kissed between his eyes.

“I ain’t leaving you Stevie, just focus on my face okay, just look at me” Steve locked eyes with Bucky and neither looked away as Bucky stripped them both down before guiding him under the spray.

 

The hot water seemed to help bring Steve back to reality, his eyes were puffy, his head was pounding, and his throat was raw. He finally looked up at Bucky who was gently washing his hair

"Buck?" he croaked softly, and Bucky brought his eyes down and gave him a tender smile

"Yeah"

"You're actually here?"

"Yeah baby doll, I’m here" he said tenderly, and Steve furrowed his brow

"We're in Wakanda?"

"Yes"

"You’re alive"

"Yeah darlin’, I’m alive" Steve nodded and leaned onto his chest. Bucky shuffled them around so he could wash himself and Steve wrapped his arms around him from behind.

“Missed you so much” Bucky rinsed and turned the shower off, drying him off before moving him through the hut to the bedroom.

“Missed you too baby, but I’m here now okay, let’s get some sleep” he tucked his naked lover into the sheets before crawling in himself. Steve rolled over to face him and stared. Bucky ran a hand through his hair and looked at him “Whattya thinkin’ beautiful?” he murmured tenderly. Steve sniffed, and his eyes filled with tears.

“You were gone, and it hurt so much. In school they said that soulmates die together. But God won’t let me die with you. I don’t wanna be here without you Buck” Bucky tried to contain his horror but he was sure some bled through the bond to Steve.

“I tried to be brave Buck, I did, but it hurts so much. And you weren’t coming back, and nothing I could do would bring you back and I was so tired of being alone” the tears slid down Steve’s face and Bucky pulled him close.

“I know you did baby, you were so brave Stevie. Goin’ into the ice and savin’ all those people. Taking down those Hellicarriers, saving me. You done so much good Stevie. Let’s just be still for a bit okay? I’m so proud of you” Bucky shifted onto his back, pulling Steve to rest against his chest.

“Promise me Buck, promise me you won’t make me go it alone again” Bucky buried his face into the dark blonde hair.

“Promise Stevie, ain’t gunna make you go it alone again”

“C-can we just stay here, just for a while? I don’t wanna go back yet” Bucky looked down at him and smiled.

“Yeah Stevie, as long as you want, just you and me okay?” Bucky wasn’t stupid, he knew the bond needed some time to heal. Especially with how much theirs had been through. Steve pressed kisses to his chest and tucked into him.

“I love you so much”

“Love you too Steve, you’re my whole world. You and me till the end of the line” Steve smiled at the old phrase and brought a hand up to cradle Bucky’s head.

“Till the end of the line” Bucky peppered soft kisses on his face until he felt the tension melt from the blonde’s shoulders.

“Just sleep baby, won’t leave your side for a minute” Steve closed his eyes, placing his ear over Bucky’s heart as he fell asleep. Bucky knew it was going to be a long road back to recovery, Steve had taken too many hits. But they had time now, and Bucky wasn’t going to waste a second of it.

**Author's Note:**

> достаточно - "enough"


End file.
